


Don't mess with assassins. Especially ones that seem to have Sorachi's artstyle.

by fruitpunchsamurai09



Category: Gintama, Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Action, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Assassination Attempt(s), Attempt at Humor, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Kuroko Tetsuya and Mayuzumi Chihiro are Siblings, M/M, more tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:13:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26685700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fruitpunchsamurai09/pseuds/fruitpunchsamurai09
Summary: Victory. That's all the GoM has ever known. Now they've split and gone their different ways in high school. In Kuroko's first year he meets Kagami who just like the others seem to be a basketball genius. However, just before the light and shadow duo start to play a practice match against the yellow miracle Kise Ryota, a bombing occurs in the area. Why did the bombing occur and who was behind it? Read to find out.pfft. what a crappy summary tho.
Relationships: Abuto & Kamui (Gintama), Akashi Seijuurou/Mayuzumi Chihiro, Aomine Daiki/Kagami Taiga, Hattori Zenzou & Sacchan | Sarutobi Ayame, Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki, Kasamatsu Yukio/Kise Ryouta, Katsura Kotarou/Sakamoto Tatsuma, Katsura Kotarou/Sakata Gintoki/Takasugi Shinsuke, Kawakami Bansai/Takasugi Shinsuke, Midorima Shintarou/Takao Kazunari, More - Relationship, Pandemonium/Shimura Shinpachi
Kudos: 16





	1. Intro.

Welcome to Silver Soul and Basketball! The fanfiction where Gintama and Kuroko no Basuke meet! If you read the summary, you'd see that I didn't really mention Gintama characters, but I bet you know who did it if it involved bombs. Anyway, I'm gonna put a guide as to what the Gintama organizations are in modern settings:

Edo Ring of Assassins: Comprised of the distinguished characters who make up the Yorozuya, Shinsengumi, Yato clan, Kihetai, Jouishishi, Kaientai, Hyakka (Tsukuyo), Oniwabanshuu and the Yagyu clan. Leader is Tokugawa Shigeshige and there are slightly lower ranks in ERA that take the place of the Four Heavenly Kings.

They work together to assassinate several corrupt high ranking and low ranking figures. Whether they were good or bad in the original Gintama universe doesn't apply here, and if I make a traitor of some sort it's not because they were good or bad.  
The reason for why I didn't put any Altana Liberation Army, Tendoshuu (Tenshouin Naraku included) or Hitotsubashi faction is also for reasons specified later on, so people who have not gotten past the introduction to the Silver Soul arc or haven't finished Gintama, beware of new characters and possible spoilers (although they may or may not connect to the actual anime)

The Kuroko no Basuke main characters, or more distinguished characters are going to be wound up in all this mess due to reasons which will be specified later on.

For this fic, I am attempting at humor. Because if Gintama is even mentioned, humor is natural, for most things at least. There might be lots of gore too. there are also two things I want to clarify. I'm going to make a close knit friendship between Zenzō, Sacchan and Shigeshige and the tag listed above, Katsura/Gintoki/Takasugi is going to be a friendship or brotherly relationship.  
Also, I partly made this fic because of the Kuroko no Basuke references in Gintama, so I hope you like it!


	2. Ugh. Kaijō's coach. Riko ain't a happy camper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, italics mean thought.  
> Bold italics are for emphasis.

"Kagami-kun, you didn't get any sleep last night did you?"

"Whaddya mean no sleep?! I'm raring to go and wipe the floor with that blondie!" The fiery redhead roared.

"Yes.Yes." the light blue haired boy gave a small smile.

He had only recently met the boy but immediately after one interaction realized that he was a big basketball idiot. Not that he minded. It just reminded him a lot of him before the incident.

_Too much like him.....but I must not dwell too much on it._

He decided to focus on his senpais, who at the moment were both excited and pissing each other off; namely Izuki senpai. He had spouted another one of his puns which resulted in Hyūga senpai snapping out of annoyance.

His practically unnoticeable smile widened a bit. He was lucky to have such teammates. Yes he wasn't with them that long but he knew something good was going to happen. He was sure of it. His calm and happy demeanor didn't last long though. It was broken by a certain um, blondie.

"KURRRRROKOCCHI!"

"Kise!!"

"Kise-kun."

"Welcome to Kaijō High Kurokocchi and Seirin basketball team!! I was told to come here and kinda show you around!" Kise eagerly urged them to follow him and so they did.

Kuroko was near the back as he did not want to be in the front and lead the group itself, so Kise decided that he would go to him instead. Hyūga senpai was given directions to the gym from someone else because a certain gold boy went running to the back to chat with 'Kurokocchi'.

"Kurokocchi! Oh and Kagami! Didn't notice you there! Any way, Kurokocchi did you consider what I asked you before?"

As if knowing that Kise would ask that question, Kuroko responded with a blank tone like always.

"Sorry Kise-kun. I won't be taking up that offer."

"Why noooot???" Kise rubbed himself next to Kuroko and pouted but quickly pulled himself back.

"Well, we're nearing the gym anyway, so gear yourselves up!"

He showed them to the gym, and much to their surprise was that they were only using half the gym for the match. The other half was occupied by other basketball players practicing. Riko, Seirin's coach was a bit confused as to why they would do this and immediately started questioning. Of course the answer didn't make her a happy woman.

"Because our players need time to practice and because this match doesn't necessarily need the whole court." Lying undertone: **_you ain't worth the time._**

...

"Riko, calm down. You're being scary."

After Riko went back under control (oh the urge to wring her hands around his fat neck was to great!), Seirin was ushered into a locker room to prepare.

Soon after a rousing speech on Seirin's side, they came out to see Kaijō's players and Kise Ryōta sitting on the bench.

"Oh so they think that we suck that bad?" Hyūga grumbled.

"Hyūga, you calm down too." Izuki tried to calm him down and seemed to be achieving just that.

Soon, Kise stood up and walked over to where Seirin's players were walking out.

"Seirin! Coach isn't gonna put me in unless you guys actually do something, so do something!"

"Of course we're gonna do something. This is a match, albeit a practice one but it still is one." Hyūga told him with determination in her eyes, and then turned to Kagami and Kuroko.

" Oi. Go warm up."

Just as they were about to go, Kuroko turned to Kise.

"Kise-kun, it wont be long before you'll be going against us."

"Hmph. I count on it Kurokocchi."

Kuroko walked over to where Kagami was tieing his shoelaces and stood next him. He tugged on his black wristband and they both set off.

One of his teammates, Izuki-senpai, passed the ball through the air. Kagami was already running, maroon shoes and hair a blur. Kuroko stood there waiting for the ball to come to him; at just the right time. He twisted his body, arm extended. One of his pale hands caught the amber-toned ball, and with the flicking motion of his limb, the ball soared in the air; straight into Kagami's reach. And then, a resounding **_BOOM!_ **

Kagami landed on the floor, hand holding the rim of the hoop. Everyone was shocked, but not because of the broken hoop in Kagami's hand.

The next moment was one that would etched in everyone's minds. The day where the lives of mere high school students like Kuroko and Kagami would be **_changed._**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that was a prologue of sorts! Gintama characters will most likely come next chapter, so see you then!


	3. Basketball and Bombs go so well together right? (The hell they do!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teme: is a rude or intimidating way of saying 'you'.
> 
> Haori: a jacket that generally reaches until the knees/thighs and is worn over a yukata.
> 
> Kimono: A traditional japanese garment.
> 
> Janken: also called jan-ken-pon. Japanese version of rock paper scissors.
> 
> Umaibō: literally called a tasty stick. A snack in Japan.
> 
> I uh think that's it. Please enjoy!!

Previously on _Don't mess with assassins. Especially ones that seem to have Sorachi's artstyle..._

_And then, a resounding BOOM!_

_\------_

As soon as Kagami landed, the south wall of Kaijō's gym burst. The wall blew to smithereens and the debris went flying; hitting the players who had practice on that side. The affected side now had orange flames and wisps of smokes rising in the air, filling the gym with a raw scent. The players on the north side, Seirin and Kaijō's starters, were standing there in horror as well as awe.

A quick moment later, someone opened the doors in the north side and called out.

"Everyone! Get out of there! Help those who're injured!"

Kagami immediately snapped out of the daze he put himself into.

The gym was on fire and he needed to help the injured players get out of there. He dashed over to a brunette who's leg had a deep gash running down his calf.

"Here. I've got you."

He dragged him up and hooked the brunette's arm over his shoulder. Swiftly, yet carefully he trudged out and gave the responsibility of healing him to a bystander who quickly cared for his wounds. Soon, the sounds of sirens filled the air and several firetrucks entered the scene. After the brunette was taken out of his care, Kagami scanned the area searching for his team. After a moment of looking, he found his team by a tree hunkered over and panting.

None of them seemed to be harmed, but they were very shocked, just like him. He waved and shouted to them and Koganei looked up in recognization.

"Guys! Kagami's safe!"

Soon followed a string of relieved sighs. Kagami ran over to where they were and saw Kuroko move up to him.

"Kagami-kun, are you hurt anywhere?"

"No, I'm fine. How bout you? I checked from a distance but now that I'm closer, you have a small scrape on your forehead."

"I'm fine Kagami-kun. The question is if the players who were practicing are fine. They were closer to the explosion so naturally some of them might have gotten hurt."

"Yeah. They're athletes so they had better not gotten hurt."

Kagami's eyes wandered and took in what was going on. His eyes landed on Kaijō's starter team, and they seemed to be doing fine as well. Nothing there. Well the one difference was that Kise looked a little more shaken up and less of his annoying self.

"By the way Kagami-kun, did you notice a body get thrown into the gym by force of the explosion?" Kuroko cut through.

"A body?"

"Yes, a body. I could have sworn that I saw a male get blast away from the accident."

"No, I don't thi-"

"Stop struggling!" A voice boomed, cutting through the conversation Kagami and Kuroko were having.

"We're trying to get you treated. Please stop struggling!"

"Ahahahahaha! Zura! Kintoki! I feel kinda lightheaded y'know? And I feel a bit in pain, but is it just me? Ahahahahaha!"

Both Kagami and Kuroko ran over to where a man with wavy brown hair, maroon sunglasses and battered red coat was being dragged on to an ambulance. Oh. That and a chunk of wood lodged in his head.

"Oi Tatsuma! Shut up would ya? And it's Gintoki not Kintoki!" said a silver permed man wearing what seemed to be a black jumpsuit and a white patterned yukata.

"Zura janai Katsura da!! Sakamoto you! You have a piece of wood lodged in your head! Do you realize how much of a pain it is for me to remove it carefully without damaging anything else?" Another man, this time with sleek black hair and a blue kimono stomped over to the bleeding man.

"Um, sir we'll take care of him. We're professional."

"Fellow doctors the way to removing any sort of debris from Sakamoto's head isn't normal. You gotta-" The man with the black hair was about to go for the wood when the silver perm swung a hammer down straight on to his head.

"H-hey!! What're you doing!" Kagami couldn't bring himself to understand or even begin to imagine why they would lodge the wood in further so he called them out.

"He literally could be dead right now! See-"

"Kintokiiiiii. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?"

"Huh?"

Kagami looked at him in utter confusion. _How the hell did he survive?!_

"Kagami-kun, I bet you're thinking 'How the hell did he survive?'"

Kagami jumped from shock at the sudden voice coming from beside him.

"Oh, it's just you. Hey, by the way how are you not shocked?"

Kagami's encounters with Kuroko gave him the realization that the latter would always keep a poker face on, no matter the situation.

"Oh I was surprised. Very surprised. It's just that Kagami-kun didn't notice."

"As much as I feel like I shouldn't say this 'cuz I don't think you're that heartless, but like hell you were!"

After a short moment of bickering, Kagami turned to ask the mysterious men a couple of questions when he came to the sight of wood being hammered deeper into his head.

"OI!!! What're you guys doing?!!" The redhead landed a blow on the silver permed man. He stumbled back and looked up at Kagami.

"Oi oi, calm down. He's actually gonna be fi-"

"Like heck he's gonna be fine! You bastards realize your literally _killing_ him! Yeah he might have miraculously survived before but that doesn't mean he's gonna survive now!"

"Yes, I agree with Kagami-kun. We don't understand why you're harming him."

Most people would think that Kuroko looked a bit indifferent, but when he's angry, the aura he gives off is evident when he really is enraged.

"Wait." The black haired man came between them.

"It's fine. He's not an actual human being in the first place. That's a clone."

"A....clone?" Did they hear right? A clone? _A clone?_

"Oi Zura! Why'd you-argh! Seriously?!"

"Zura janai Katsura da! And it's fine." he turned to the boys, "I was just joking. Be it a clone or a robot, nothing is enough to withstand how much annoyance I have towards Sakamoto and strawberry mi-"

"Zura teme! Strawberry milk?! You're insulting strawberry milk?! Do you know how much of a pain you are when you're slurping up plain soba?! Plain soba! In fact really, a clone really isn't enough to withstand the hatred!"

"How dare you-*yarunaru ima shika ne ZURA yarunaru ima shika ne ZU* Yes, hello?"

The noirette, who now became known as 'Zura' by the basketball duo pulled a green flip phone from his pocket and answered it.

"Yes, yes. That's been done. Uh no. Part of the area is in ashes. Yes, we destroyed him out of annoyance and I'm sure you understand why. Okay, got it."

He closed the phone and looked over to the silver perm, "Gintoki, they're calling us back."

The wavy head rubbed the back of his head and lifted up the body of the Sakamoto dude. Zura dusted his haori and they both were about to start walking off in a different direction until a monotone voice cut through.

"Excuse me, Zura-san." Kuroko lightly tapped Zura's shoulder.

All of a sudden he turned around and said with passion "Zura janai Katsura da!"

"Okay then, Katsura-san. If I'm right, you were involved in the explosion?"

"Sorry, but I'm not obliged to tell you."

"But if you were involved Katsura-san, excuse me if I seem imposing but why would you blow up this area without considering that there were people here?"

"We knew that there were people here. But as I said before, I am not obliged to tell you."

"No there's actually something we can tell you." The perm looked at them.

"Gintoki, what're you planning?"

"It's fine Zura. This is kinda payback for revealing the clone thing."

"Wait, so that wasn't a joke?!" Kagami interjected.

"Brushing that matter aside-"

_"Oi you can't just brush it aside."_

"Yes I can. Well continuing on, my horoscope today has told me my hunches would be great today."

"What sort of horoscope-"

"Midorima-kun is that you?"

"And so my hunch is, that weirdly enough you'll find out the reason for this." The platinum haired man finished. And with that, Katsura and the perm walked away leaving two basketball players, Kuroko and Kagami in confusion.

After a few minutes of merely contemplating as to why they were there, as hand rested on both Kagami and Kuroko's backs. They both turned around and saw Izuki there.

"Izuki-senpai."

"Come on. We gotta go now. We're mostly likely gonna still be taking the bus home."

"Wait, the police ain't gonna ask us anything? I mean we did have something to do with it."

"No, they're not. Some kimono wearing man with long hair apparently persuaded the police not to ask the high schoolers anything. I really don't know how he did it though."

Kagami and Kuroko both stared at each other and their eyes widened.

_Katsura!_

_Katsura-san!_

"Oi! Kagami, Kuroko. What happened?" Hyūga and the other senpais as well as Riko came over.

"Uh..nothing!" The redhead lied, though it was obvious he sucked at it. It was a white lie but even at that his palms were sweaty and he paled.

"Really? Nothing?"

"Really Hyūga senpai. Nothing happened." Kuroko intervened, spoken in a blank tone and an unreadable face as usual.

"Okay then. Come on, we gotta go home. This'll be in the news for sure, that is if it ain't there by now, so our parents will be worried."

Seirin's team walked away from the site, the lot of them confused yet relieved. That is, aside from the first year duo who's minds still lingered on the perm's hunch.

"And so my hunch is, that weirdly enough you'll find out the reason for this."

\-----

At Tōō-

Aomine Daiki was lazily lying on the rooftop. It was the spot he seemed to be glued to ever since middle school. After all, school was a pain and there was no point in practicing a sport where you always won. He soon reached the awaiting doors of sleep, that is until a high-pitched voice, a very familiar one pushed him away from it.

"Dai-chan!" Momoi Satsuki, childhood friend of Aomine called out.

"Whaddya want Satsuki? I'm tryna sleep here. Are you trying to get me to come to practice again?"

"Dai-chan! Something happened at Ki-chan's school!"

"Huh? Kise?"

_"Yes! Ki-chan's school was bombed!"_

This had Aomine alert.

"What? Kaijō was bombed?" Aomine shifted to get a look at Satsuki's face, but there was no puffy eyes or tear streaked cheeks.

"Yeah...Ki-chan's fine though! So is his team. There were no casualties, but Seirin was there too!"

"Seirin...as in Tetsu?"

"Mhm." Momoi nodded. "But they're fine too."

"Oh. Okay then."

Aomine calmed down now. No one was hurt right? So he didn't need to worry at all.

\----

In the middle of the road-

"Hmm...Cancer's 1st today naturally. And the last sign is Leo."

Midorima Shintarō was sitting in a brown rickshaw contemplating on whether or not he can even have access to his lucky item as his lucky item was ashes.

_Ashes.....perhaps I can ask my mother. Although it might seem a bit too sudden and abnormal to be asking for that naturally._

"Midorima! How much further till Kaijō?"

Midorima's companion, a noirette named Kazunari Takao was the unlucky boy who had to peddle the rickshaw until Kaijō. Results of janken and Oha Asa's predictions.

"A little further. Please stop complaining."

"Well you're not the one whose been peddling not only a rickshaw but one with a 170 lb man sitting inside it!"

Midorima ignored his remark, focused more on the problem at hand. The ashes weren't completely necessary....no! No matter what ranking Cancer was, he needed his lucky item so the entire day would run well!

They started to approach Kaijō, but what they saw was several police cars as well as ambulances.

"What happened?" Takao asked the question that every bystander would have bee asking in his position.

Nearby, they heard a couple of women talking to each other.

"There was a bombing."

"I don't think it was a major one though."

"No it wasn't. There were also no casualties but I heard several kids got injured badly."

Midorima was stunned at this. Didn't Kise attend here? Wait, why was he worrying about Kise in the first place? There were no casualties so he should be been fine. And besides, no matter how bad the situation Oha Asa said that Cancer had ranked first. And that very same program claimed that Cancer's lucky item was ashes. And what better timing was this?

\----

Yōsen-

Murasakibara Atsushi was a man who's world was surrounded by junk food. *Umaibō, potato chips, cookies, pocky, anything unhealthy! And so, he was walking to his next class with a stick of pocky hanging from his mouth.

 _Ah...I wish they allowed us to eat snacks in the classroom. But does it look like I care? No_.

He ambled in and remembered to duck before entering. Don't want to have that incident happen again. He was tall. Very tall. And the doors here were only a couple inches under him.

Murasakibara quickly finished his stick of pocky and lazily took a seat at his desk.

"Did you know something? Y'know that model Kise Ryōta right? Apparently at his school, there was a bombing!"

_Hmm? Kise-chin?_

"Oh my god! Is he okay? I wouldn't want Kise-kun to be hurt!"

"There were no deaths though, so he must be fine!"

"Oh but another school was there too! I think....it was Seirin's basketball team?"

Seirin? Where have I heard that......

"Seirin? Never heard of that school. Is it new?"

"Yeah probably."

"Everyone! Rise, bow and take your seat!" His class's teacher marched in, strict and prompt.

_Oh well....They're probably fine...._

\----

At the Akashi mansion-

Akashi Seijūrō was someone who, proved by self proclamation as well as watching him, was flawless. He was perfect in everything he did and made sure everyone knew that. Be it through pure charisma or sheer cruelty, he made people know their place, which according to him and the Akashi Family motto, is beneath him.

Although Rakuzan did have dorms, he came home to the mansion occasionally. That day was today.

When they reached the gates, his driver leaned out and pressed the wired button. Soon a female voice channeled through the small speaker.

"Welcome to the Akashi residence. Please state who you are and your reasons for being here." The driver decided to let Akashi speak so he drove a couple feet forward.

"My name is Akashi Seijūrō and I doubt I need to state my reasons."

"Oh! Young master! I apologize for my previous actions. *Okaeri!"

"*Tadaima. And no need to apologize Hikari."

"Y-yes! Let me open the gate!"

The intricate iron gates opened synchronously and the limo continued to the front of the mansion. He stepped out and went to the front door in quick strides. Of course when he knocked on the door, two rows of the family's maids and butlers were lined up along with their cook and his personal caretaker. They welcomed him home and soon Akashi went to go see his father, Akashi Masaomi, who would be in his office as usual. He approached the door confidently, although a bit cautious. Not that he would admit that. He was about to knock on the door when he heard his father's voice.

"What of the squad that was sent to Kaijō for the bomb? I heard that they are top tier ability wise."

Then another voice, "The squad seems to have succeeded."

"Good."

The conversation continued and Akashi heard all of it. Earlier that day he had found out about the Kaijō bombing and information of no casualties was a slight relief. He couldn't have his former gifted teammates dying. They were necessary. It didn't stun him in the least that his father knew about the bombing but what did was that he was involved with the bombing.

There was one last exchange that intrigued him the most.

"Yes, about your proposal. I will send them."

"Just to learn and see right Akashi-san?"

"Yes. Just to learn and see Maizō-san."

"Okay. We look forward to having them."

"Yes. I'm sure the Generation of Miracles will look forward to it as well."

_What?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yasss 2nd chapter down!  
> I really hope ya'll enjoyed it!  
> Expect the next chapter to be published by next weekend.  
> Please continue reading!


	4. Red-head midgets are scary (but hey, so are bazookas and sadists)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Oi Midorima, speak Japanese': They are technically speaking japanese so instead of saying 'speak english' I put this instead.
> 
> Naturally: this is a replacement of 'nanodayo'
> 
> Marlboro: a cigarette brand
> 
> M6A3: a type of ammunition/rocket for bazookas.

Previously on Don't mess with assassins. Especially ones who seem to have Sorachi's artstyle.

"Yes. I'm sure the Generation of Miracles will look forward to it as well."

_What?_

\----

 _Why the hell am I here? No, really why?_ And several other related questions were streaming through Aomine's head right now. Just about 30 minutes ago, he was out shopping for his precious Mai-chan gravure books (cuz Satsuki said she wouldn't do it) and right when he was about to pick one out, a certain red-headed midget (he wouldn't dare call him that in front of him though) decided to bring them to a 'get together'. Now he was sitting in a private room at a classy restaurant called 'Hana no Monme' that was surely for the rich wearing a hand-me-down shirt and basketball shorts.

**And he still had no Mai-chan gravures. Tch.**

He looked to his right for some sort of distraction from his impending frustration and saw an excited Kise (as clingy as ever) hugging and pestering an irritated Midorima who was desperately trying to keep his glass globe safe (his lucky item). In front of him was Murasakibara (who grew even taller, the freaking beanstalk. Well it's not like he could talk either) relishing an expensive bar of chocolate which Akashi probably gave him, the former sitting next to him. And then to his left was....no one.

Tetsu still hadn't showed up yet, or maybe he was right behind him boring his plain eyes into the back of his head. Aomine's eyes scanned across the room, checking to see if the light bluenette was there. He wasn't. Aomine didn't know if that was a relief or if he really wanted Tetsu to be there. Well, it's not like Tetsu would even talk to him, or maybe he would. He didn't know and then told himself that he shouldn't care. It's not like he depended on Tetsu, right?

He quickly brushed the soon following questions aside and decided to brood. Brood on the fact that he was here for absolutely no reason, at least to what he knew so far.

_Akashi that little bastard! He brings me here, no more like forces me here and expects me to wait. I really want to strangle him. Can I?_

_I don't know Daiki, you really seem to want to have scissor blades stabbed in your flesh._

_Shut up me._

_I'm your genius voice of reason ya idiot. Without me you'd be bleeding out and on the way to the hospital._

_Fair point Daiki._

_Thank you Daiki._

"Daiki, are you okay?"

Aomine snapped out of his bubble of self-praise and looked to see Akashi staring at him.

"I'm fine!" he unconsciously yelled.

"Daiki, lower your voice. I can't comprehend why you see the need to yell at me but I hope you have a valid reason, that is unless you feel the need to perhaps have a new haircut or a beautiful scar?"

Aomine internally shivered. The dude was a freaking pyscho.

"Uh yeah. 'M fine."

"Good. Well, I was hoping to begin the meeting now but Tetsuya still hasn't arrived. That or he hasn't made his presence known."

Then as if on cue, there was a knock on the door and in came Kuroko Tetsuya with a split eyebrowed man. A split eyebrowed man.

"Pfft."

"Oi Aomine. What happened?" Midorima asked.

"HAHAHAHAHA!!!" Aomine burst into laughter, regardless of they eyes on him.

"DUDE YOUR EYEBROWS!!! WERE YOU TRYING TO _PLUCK YOUR EYEBROWS_ OR SOMETHIN'? AHAHAHAHA!!"

The split eyebrowed man regarded him and then his face morphed into one of rage.

"OI!! WHAT DID YOU SAY YA BASTARD?!"

"NOTHING! IT'S JUST THAT YOUR EYEBROWS LOOK LIKE FORKS!!"

"LOOK WHO'S TALKING!! DID YOUR DAILY TANNING SESSION _OVERHEAT YOUR SKIN OR WERE YOU JUST BORN LIKE THAT_ YA GANGURO??"

Aomine angrily stomped over and grabbed him by the collar. Kagami returned the favor by doing the same, both expressions ones of pure rage and annoyance. The two looked just about ready to deck each other, that is until a sharp blur of steel silver and red whizzed by in the gap between their faces.

They both (trembling in the process, but it wasn't so visible; they wouldn't show it as their pride wouldn't allow it) slowly turned to find a pair of scissors anchored in the wall. Akashi piercing glaze fell on both of them.

Aomine, seemingly having been with Akashi for a while or at least long enough to predict the consequences of defying him, flopped down in his seat and tched. Kagami on the other hand...

"Akashi Seijūrō right? The captain of the Generation of Miracles." Kagami ambled up to Akashi, regaining his own confidence which had sort of flown out the window a couple seconds ago.

"Kagami-kun. Please stop." Kuroko popped up out of nowhere, which then led to Kagami jumping 10 feet in the air.

"God Kuroko! You've gotta stop doing that!"

"I apologize Kagami-kun but I really can't help it."

Kagami calmed down his quick-beating heart. The little bastard. As much as he loved him (in a friend/teammate sort of way of course!), it was very hard to differentiate whether his seemingly random ability to pop up out of nowhere was an accident or on purpose.

As he recovered, he noticed Akashi looking at him; his mismatched orbs staring into his soul.

"You are Tetsuya's friend yes?"

"Uh I guess? What's it to you?"

Akashi turned to Kuroko, "Tetsuya, I thought I made it clear that this meeting was Miracles only? Why have you disobeyed that rule?"

"I apologize Akashi-kun, but as he is already here, may he stay?"

"Stay?" Akashi contemplated it for a second, or for others a second but for him a slightly longer moment. _It might be interesting to see this....Kagami Taiga. He is Tetsuya's new light and it would truly satisfy me to put him in his place._

"He may stay. However Kagami Taiga, should you speak up against me or interrupt me in any way, I really do hope you're prepared." Kagami gulped and nodded.

Akashi took his seat while Kuroko and Kagami sat down next to each other.

_What a scary midget. I sure as hell gotta keep my guard up._

Kagami registered everyone else sitting there.

_All the Miracles are here, and I'm pretty surprised that Kise didn't come and push himself onto Kuroko. In fact, they all look a bit serious now. Damn it I thought that I could be playing against them._

The magenta head started speaking which stopped Kagami's train of thought, "Welcome my fellow Miracles and one who wasn't invited." he glared at the captain of the miracles. That sure as hell wasn't necessary.

"I have requested (ordered) you all to come here for a very important discussion. It is regarding something that will occur in our future."

"Something regarding our future Akashicchi? What do you mean-ssu?"

"I'm getting to that Ryōta. As I said, it is important so I do hope you all are listening. I overheard my father's conversation with an unknown man, by far who's name I know to be Maizō. In this discussion, they were conversing about us, the Generation of Miracles visiting a place that wasn't mentioned. I created this meeting to bring and arouse any ideas to light."

"You, Akashi Seijūrou, doesn't know about this occasion that will affect us in the future naturally?" Midorima adjusted his black rimmed glasses and tucked his bands behind his ear as an attempt to hear better if he had misunderstood.

"You tell me Shintarō. Oh and what a vitriolic undertone I have caught from that comment. I trust that you didn't intend for that to happen?" Midorima looked away, possibly in annoyance.

"So, do any of my fellow miracles have any ideas?"

"Akashi-kun, I have an idea. Perhaps to find his motive we should see what we all have in common."

"Just what I expected Tetsuya. You never fail to intrigue me. We both share the same ideas." Akashi gave Kuroko a small smile, although even Kuroko found it hard to decipher whether it was a teasing smile or one of true pride. Akashi-kun to him was an enigma.

"Aka-chin~. You said that we had to have something in common, so it can't possibly be basketball right~?"

"I understand what Murasakibara's trying to say naturally. We all are already proficient in basketball and although practicing would polish our skills, I daresay that we needn't any more actual training in the area for our present lives."

"Oi Midorima. Speak Japanese*."

"I am you nincompoop; it's just that your brain is to small to comprehend it, naturally."

"YOU-"

"Aomine-kun, we can't have anymore yelling here." Kuroko spoke up and Aomine didn't jump in surprise (as he knew Tetsu was there) but instead sweatdropped.

"Fine. Still, do you gotta insult everyone and be so sour and uptight all the time?"

"I do not insult everyone! I only insult those who deserve it naturally."

"Aominecchi! Midorimacchi! Please, we've already had a fight today. For like the tenth time calm down-ssu!"

Kise immediately stopped the upcoming heated argument that would've mostly consisted of Aomine's use of his colorful vocabulary and smooth retorts as well as some tsundereness from Midorima. He really could not take the constant arguments over petty things (even if he would have been in it too)!

"Kise-kun is right. We may have gotten a couple hints or ideas as to why but we shouldn't argue between every single one."

"Thank you Tetsu!"

"Oi, you were part of it too Aomine!"

"Please stop." Kuroko continued to try and be a mediator for any upcoming fights. Yes it might have warmed his heart a slight bit to see his old yet arrogant teammates fight over the smallest thing but he didn't want to see them do it too much.

"Yeah, the boy's right ya idiots."

A gravelly voice spoke up, surprising everyone that was present in the room. The group simultaneously craned their heads to see a tall man standing their, hair like black olives and navy gunmetal-like eyes. He had a serious expression, not exactly a scowl, etched in his face and a flavor line Marlboro cigarette hanging off the side of his mouth.

Another man, looking a little younger stood their as well. He had honey brown hair and deep scarlet eyes. He had a nonchalant expression, and covering his forehead was a red eye mask. The very same man spoke up with a modulated voice.

"Yeah, the boy's right you idiots."

"Shut up Sōgo. Stop copying me."

"Shut up Hijikata-san, oh in the process do everyone a favor and die."

"No, you die Sōgo. Go jump into the ocean and drown."

"Please go and get run over by a car, or a truck-that's even better."

Their seemingly hostile yet offhanded conversation continued back and forth; neither of the making any physical contact with each other as if this was a practiced routine.

However, two very hotheaded 'idiots' as they called them and one easily insulted blondie immediately stood up, knocked over their chairs and walked in angered strides. They were taller than the two mysterious men, so they might as well intimidate them into saying sorry. It would work right? Like hell it did.

The second they went over there, Sōgo pulled out a _bazooka_ (seemingly out of nowhere) and aimed it at the trio.

"W-what? A bazooka?" Kise faltered in his step when hearing that. He didn't think they would possibly aim it at them because one, it might have not been real and two, they were in a public place. But, if they did (and the look in the brunette's facial expression proved it), he was doomed (and so was his part-time modelling career). And most importantly, not only him but everyone in the room would have injuries and not be able to play basketball at all. He was already a little traumatized (it really didn't affect him that much personally though) by the Kaijō bombing and he did not need another one to tack on the list.

"We should probably back down Kagami, Aominecchi. I have a weird feeling that's a real bazooka."

"Huh? Why would he shoot a bazooka in a closed place." Aomine queried.

"Yeah, I mean there're lots of innocent people here." Kagami agreed with Aomine, which was a first since what had happened earlier.

"Great speculation. Sogo put the frickin' bazooka down."

"Okay."

And right after that, Sogo pulled the trigger like the sadist he is and Hijikata went flying. Chocolate snapped, glass shattered, mouths fell, eyes bulged.

However when he shot the bazooka, the impact of the M6A3 rocket inside pierced through the body but there was no blood. Not the crimson liquid, but a thick yellow substance. That and several colorful wires.

"Crap. That was mayo clone 256."

"MAYO-CLONE 256?!!" Aomine and Kise shouted in disbelief. What the hell was this?

"CLONES AGAIN?!!" Kagami ran one of his hands through his maroon locks and turned towards Kuroko. "Didn't we hear this stuff about clones before?"

"Yes, except I believe the last clone we saw had actual blood inside of him." Kuroko's slightly widened pale blue orbs were what Kagami did expect. Just a couple of days ago they had an incident with clones and bombs and crazy people who laughed weirdly. This officially became one of the weirdest weeks in his life.

"However," The smaller boy continued, "we seem to have slightly bigger problems."

Kagami, as well as the now alleviated Aomine and Kise turned to see a certain burgundy haired teen with craze etched in his heterochromatic eyes. He sauntered over to the brunette, hand adorning a honed scissor blade. Akashi Seijūrō gazed at him and held his scissors right next to neck, digging the blade into Sogo's apricot-colored skin. Okita Sōgo stared back at him and brushed his jacket aside to reveal a scarlet magenta sheath, matching his orbs. He slowly drew his katana and kept it near Akashi's ivory skin.

The Miracles noticed this and attempted to break up what they expected to happen, but the two just stood there. They each had blades pressed up against each other. Whoever was swifter than the other would escape unscathed, and whoever was slower would find a blade lodged in their neck. The tension was reaching an unbelievable peak and anyone who couldn't handle it would have to leave. One of the miracles was about to knock the blades away from their hands until they heard laughter.

Sōgo had a smirk etched on his attractive face while Akashi had one of his own, though smaller and less noticeable. The two withdrew their blades and Sogo turned to the shadow of the room.

"Hijikata-saaaaaaan. Come ouuuuuut. I won't kill you or anything!"

From the shadows emerged what everyone assumed to be the actual Hijikata Tōshirō who was reaching into his breast pocket to pull out another cigarette.

"Like hell you wouldn't. Even if you did the higher ups would have your head."

"Maybe they would. Maybe they wouldn't. However, why don't we tell them what we're actually here for."

Hijikata walked over to where both Akashi and Sōgo stood waiting.

"I assume that you guys know of the Kaijō bombing?"

"Yeah! That was a scare but no one got hurt-ssu." Kise gave a thankful prayer of relief.

"Yeah, so that bombing? We were behind it."

Silence.

"HUH?!!"

Everyone in the room exclaimed in pure surprise. Well, Kagami and Kuroko didn't due to their previous experience with a certain airheaded clone, a silver perm and one who they knew as Katsura. Midorima's and Murasakibara's eyes were widened which was expected as a serious reaction was a bit hard to pull from them. Akashi's eyes dilated for a fraction of a second before giving a small sigh.

"I expected just that from the previous events that have transpired today."

"You did?!" This time only Kuroko and Midorima maintained a straight face. Kuroko for his tremendous skill in observing and reading people and Midorima as being the closest to Akashi while constantly picking up his habits and predictions.

"You're a pretty smart brat-"

_"Akashi you need to **calm down**."_

Anyway, yes we were behind it but we weren't technically the one that set up the bomb in the first place. The squad we sent merely diffused the bomb and dealt with the enemy."

"What do you mean? You say it was diffused but the remaining half of Kaijō's gym speaks otherwise naturally." Midorima pointed out. They claimed they did so why was Kaijō's gym touched. Was the method to diffuse the bomb not a job done by a man but some sort of chemical of sorts; like a bomb of their own?

"Yes, we do know about that and we have a reason to why-"

"Blame it on Katsura. Blame it on Hijikata as well."

_"What did I do you little-"_

"Katsura (-san)?" Both Kagami and Kuroko colorful orbs lit up in recognization.

"Yeah Katsura. Ya know him?"

"Yes. We met him right after the bombing."

"Yeah. He was with some nutty dude that had shades and another dude with a silver perm....Wait, so if you know them, does that mean we're gonna see 'em again?!" although they did seem to be a crazy group of individuals to become acquainted with, they also appeared to be pretty interesting as well; at least from what he saw. His maroon irises glowed with traces of anticipation, ones that could usually only be found when he was playing a blood-pumping basketball match against strong opponents.

"Wow....For an idiot you do seem pretty smart..." Sōgo drawled.

"OI!!"

"But yes, you will see them again."

"'Will'? Not 'might'?" Kuroko asked.

"Hmm? Oh yeah. We never really did tell you the reason for crashing your little meeting here did we?"

Sōgo pounced onto Hijikata's back and tackled him, trying to put him into a headlock. Soon, after putting him through hell (oh the strangled voice of Hijikata was music to his ears) with Hijikata trying to attack him back, he gave the answer.

"We're here to take you to the Edo Ring of Assassins, otherwise known as ERA."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK so I am proud of myself for what I have so far. It ain't much but it's something right? Also for the scene where Sōgo mentioned 'mayo clone 256' the idea I had in mind was when during the Mitsuba arc he slays several Hijikatas. Maybe you caught it maybe you didn't. I would have been pretty hard anyway. 
> 
> Also, if you're confused as to why Sōgo and Akashi just kinda had that weird exchange, it'll be clarified in later chapters!
> 
> Thanks for reading and hopefully a chapter update by next weekend!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the eons late short chapter. This was gonna be longer but I accidentally deleted it and up came a writers block to get it back to the way it was. That failed but anyways I did something! here ya go!

Previously on Don't mess with assassins. Especially ones that seem to have Sorachi's artstyle.

"We're here to take you to the Edo Ring of Assassins, otherwise known as ERA."

\----

Midorima Shintaro was a person who prided himself on keeping a poker face. Perhaps not as well as Kuroko, but he could manage. If you were to compare him with Akashi, yes he would still be better because for Akashi, any emotions wouldn't be evident in his facial expressions but more in his eyes. Unlike Kise or Aomine who would immediately react or Murasakibara who's body language was an open book, he could control himself to an extent. However it wasn't just his serious face but his knack for discerning the truth; whether or not if what was said was a lie or not, so when Okita Sogo uttered those very words, he believed that he was in desperate need of a mental check.

"Edo Ring of Assassins? Really?" he asked disbelievingly, "Assassins?"

"Yes. Your either deaf or your really deaf." Sogo asked.

"Shut up. But, assassins of all things?"

"Yeah. We're assassins or hitmen or just really powerful people in general." Hijikata replied.

"Wow, what a huge ego." Aomine snarked, they seriously thought that they were so great?

"We're not any better Mine-chin~. But, I'll crush you for saying that shortie~." Murasakibara soon had a glare on his face and he angrily crunched his italian basil chips.

This time Sogo spoke up again.

"The red-head over there, the one that just had a death glare match with me." Akashi swiftly made eye contact with him yet again, but it had less distain.

"I have a feeling that you know what I'm talking about. And you two over there. Yup. The pale one that looks like he lost too much blood and the one with blood type A eyebrows."

"Huh? Blood type A?"

"Sougo shut up."

"Ignore I said that then. As I said before, you seem to know something?"

Kuroko stepped forward and spoke, "Yes. The silver haired man said that we might meet again in the future. He called it a hunch."

"Looks like Yorozuya kept it as vague as he could." Hijikata said.

"That he did...welp, no point in trying to change that. Let's take 'em now."

"Take us? You mean to like your base or something?"

"Yes. We have a base. It's this restaurant." 

"Really?!"

"No it's not."

"Aomine-kun...be smart....Oh wait. I don't think that's possible..." 

"Tetsu! No need to be so harsh!"

"Whatever. You might want to move back now."

"Huh? Why?" Kagami asked.

"Just do it. Unless you want to be crushed under debris than be my guest." Hijikata replied. He then held is fingers to his ear and spoke. "Five minutes more."

"Oi Sogo. Where're the brands?"

"Brands? What do you mean?" Akashi asked. Where they referring to skin modifications such as tattoos or iron brands?

"Ah."

"What do you mean 'ah'."

"Hijikata-san. Do you mean those pins?"

"Essentially yes. What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything. Kondo-san did."

"What the hell did Kondo-san do?!"

"He took the box that the pins were in and ran off to his 'precious Otae-chan'."

"Oh crap. Which means..."

"The box that we have now is...." He opens it in a flourish. "Tada~! pictures of Gorillas and a picture of a naked Kondo-san!"

Everyone in the room was staring either in confusion, disgust, or a mix of both. Especially the ones who were more sophisticated looked like they were facepalming deeply.

Hijikata gave an exasperated sigh and addressed everyone. "Well, that's screwed and 5 minutes is over." He pulls out another cigarette while crushing the one he used on the floor."

"I hope you know the carpet you crushed that filthy cigarette on is of Persian roots." Akashi spoke through clenched teeth. These people were starting to get on his nerves.

"Huh? Persia? I hope you know that carpets don't mean crap to me and in fact it was asking to be wonderfully painted with cigar ash." Hijikata shot back, and then signaled to Sogo. He nodded and pulled out a spherical device from his jacket.

"Well, I guess it was a good idea to bring Katsura's bomb." He threw it upwards in a quick swing of his arm and the bomb exploded, cracking open the ceiling.


End file.
